We hate ourselves...

We were just scrolling though the tv guide and Sarah Palin's Wild On, Alaskan Outdoor Cocktail Party, We Antagonize Kate Because We Can was on. We were trying to flip to HD Theatre (pronounced with a snobby "Tee-ah-tra!"), ESPN or something violent, we swear.

We hate ourselves because we were tempted to tune in... We guess we really just wanted to prove to ourselves that it wasn't just a sick joke that this anal seepage was really on television. We ALMOST tuned in -- didn't. Sarah Plain = 0; Pissed Off Dems = 1.

BTW -- half-informed complaint here -- we are also pissed off about the Dream Act.

Good. Grief. We don't want to offer citizenship to law abiding taxpayers who serve in the military? Which part is offensive to Kay Bailey "I Cheer Because I Can" Hutchison and John "I Get Ornery When I Ain't Killin'" Cornyn: the brown skin or the fact that these folks pay taxes?

"We cannot confirm or deny..."

Senator A says to Senator B, "Hey, I'll bet you a chit that you can't get Senator C to admit his opinion on anything."

Senator B, a renowned plaintiff's attorney, says "Are you kidding? This will be easy, and I'm going to collect on that chit next time I need some pork for back home."

So, Senator B strolls up to Senator C and says, "There's been some serious debate surfacing over whether the sun is going to rise in the east tomorrow. What do you think about this insanity?"

Senator C looks Senator B squarely in the eyes and says, "I never wake up until well after dawn; so I don't have much of an opinion on the matter."

Hypocalypse Now

We were going to rant and rave about today's federal court ruling out of the Eastern District of Virginia on this year's Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act (PPACA). There are so many things about this law and the subsequent lawsuits to be pissed about that our pee brains approached overload status before we even started brainstorming and drawing our Venn Diagram. (Mrs. Vaughn was a stickler for the Venn in 8th grade English, and we haven't been able to so much as write a post-it note without it since then.)

So, rather than having our fourth meltdown of the week, we decided to forgo a drawn out post on today's ruling. Instead, we decided to tell you a story.

One time, not too long ago, in a land not too far away, we had the - uhh..., err -- experience of working for a Republican. We know, we know. You're incredulous! Shocked! You just did a spit take all over your computer screen! What about that other post about being part of the team, you ask!? You're just a big hypocrite, you say! Yeah, well, we're not elected officials and sometimes you gotta pay the bills; so get over it.

Anyway, one time while working for said Republican, we attended a policy primer, during which a group of local doctors promoted a universal, single-payer healthcare plan for Texas. After the primer, we casually discussed the pros and cons of such a plan with our staff legal counsel. Her main problem with universal coverage was the idea that people would be getting something for nothing. There would be free riders milking the system. There had to be some "personal responsibility," dammit! And, of course, that's all Republicans really want: for you to be responsible for yourself... And for you to not worship anyone who hasn't been crucified... And for you to not hump thy same-sex neighbor.

Here we are, several years later, and our former cohort's words are as fresh in our mind as they ever have been. Today a Republican (still closeted) judge held that the individual responsibility portion of the of the PPACA is unconstitutional. And Texas AG Greg "I'm Okay With Tort Lawsuits After I've Been Paralyzed From the Waist Down in a Bizarre Fallen Tree Limb Incident, but Not When Your Husband was Killed in a BP Refinery Explosion That Could Have Been Prevented" Abbott praised the decision. Of course he chimed in supporting the ruling; he's a fucking free ride*r.

So, let us get this straight: Republicans hate healthcare reform because it imposes individual responsibility on Americans to get their own go*ddamn healthcare, instead of milking the system and passing their medical bills on to everyone else? Isn't that what Republicans claim to want: individual responsibility? Ohhh!!! We forgot: personal responsibility is good when they say so; not when a black man does.

It's a lot to digest, we know. But for heaven's sake, watch where you're jogging while you think it over. Now, do as we say and not as we do, and have a great day!

Security Blanket

No, not airport security. We don't give a damn about being x-rayed, while being felt up and having our prostate checked by a convicted felon, in public. And that's just to check your bags at curbside! Hay-oh!

We're pissed off about the fact that, apparently, you can't comment on a Blogger blog unless you have certain subscriptions to other services. LAME.

PODs is working on finding and designing a new home that will be less... Pissy. Stay tuned.

UPDATE: Thanks to a helpful blogger, turned editor-blogger, turned blogger-socialite, we learned there is a place called "Settings," where we can adjust who can "Comment." Effing amazing. Comment away! If you dare.

Ritter? Never heard of her!

First off: yes! Everything we know about blogging we stole from Illin Smith -- thus the unoriginal title. Can we move on now, please?

Speaking of moving on, State Rep. Allan Ritter announced today that he will be leaving the Democratic Party to join the Republicans. We are just... completely and totally shocked! We haven't been this surprised since Ricky Rick jumped ship back in '89. (We were so upset that we refused to carry our "Rick Perry, Democrat for Texas" lunch pails to 4th grade, ever again!) Or maybe since Hopson did it earlier this year. Or maybe since Arron Pena (pronounced "I Hate My Own Race") announced late last week that he is taking the matter of switching parties "under consideration."

So, can you guess what PODs are pissed about today? Traitors? Scallywags? Actually, no. Many elected officials are self-preservationists; that's no secret and we don't necessarily blame them -- chicken shit or not -- for changing parties when they find their values or district demographics shifting, or what the fuck e*ver.

What we are pissed about is people who never had the balls to be part of the team in the first place. People who claim to be on our side, but never really put any effort into it. You know these people: they wear Rangers regalia all season long, until the playoffs come around, and then they bust out the NY Spankees gear. (This year not withstanding.)

Allan Ritter was never a Democrat to begin with. At the end of last session, when real Democrats were fighting to protect minority and elderly voters from voter discrimination legislation, the Allan Ritters of the world were walking around bitching and moaning and pouting. They weren't pouting because they thought there was a lot of other important legislation to get to in the waning days of session, they were pouting because they thought that killing voter discrimination legislation would put them at risk back home in their districts.

Let us tell you something: when you put a big "D" next to your name, you make a commitment to some basic principles, implied or otherwise; and defending Constitutional rights of all voters is one of those principles. If you didn't have the balls to come out and fight the good fight to begin with, we didn't want you anyway. Think: Alex Rodriguez.

Welcome to Pissed Off Dems... Now Piss Off

Pissed Off Dems (PODs) believe in basic Democratic principles of affordable healthcare for all Americans, quality education for every child, preserving our natural resources and all that other stuff. But Pissed Off Dems are also just that: pissed off.

We're especially pissed off at Americans who vote against their own self-interest. There are a lot of you out there.

• Working class voters who vote Republican, despite the fact that Republicans want to strip you of unemployment insurance, Medicaid and Medicare, SSI and any other valuable public benefit, PODs are pissed off at you.
• Minorities who vote Republican, despite the fact that the Republican party hasn't been the Party of Lincoln in 150 years, PODs are pissed off at you.
• Gays and lesbians who vote Republican, despite the fact that the Republican base is confused by your lifestyle, hate you for it and refuse to let you marry each other, PODs are pissed off at you.
• Elected Democrats who kowtow to Republicans every time they threaten you with a difficult vote, PODs are pissed off at you.
• Attorneys who vote Republican, despite the fact that Republicans are eating away at the legal system one piece of legislation at a time, PODs are pissed off at you.

As you can see, PODs are pissed off by a lot of things, and this is just a tiny sampling. Frankly, the list of things that we're pissed off about is too long to type in one sitting. And can you blame us for being pissed? We've been getting our asses handed to us day-in and day-out, even when we win.

In the coming weeks, Pissed Off Dems hopes to engage readers in an ongoing discussion about things that should piss off everyone (unless, of course, you are a member of the KKK, your name rhymes with Prick Rerry, or you're just an asshole -- if those can be distinguished).

PODs is unlikely to post anything too substantive for another next week or so, but we hope you'll keep checking back, or just add us to your RSS feed -- we don't know WTF an RSS feed is, but we've heard good things -- add us to your email alerts, put us on your Facebookings, Twattings, or whatever you prefer. In the meantime, we leave you with something to be pissed off about:

Brad Womack is going to be "the next Bachelor," again. Didn't that guy already get a run at his pick of some 20-odd hotties, only to decide that none of them were worthy of him? Talk about being pissed off.